Love, how ever sweet you can be to thee
Beautiful and kind, as sweet as thy looks
A rose can never be mistook for thee
More beautiful and lovely than books
Thy eternal beauty forever shinin’
Brighter than the hot blazing summer sun
No other beauty is found in minin’
Shinier than the winter snow time fun
More lovely art thou than a red, red rose
A beautiful princess in a fairytale
Fairer than an angel striking a pose
Royalty in all ways that tell thy tale
Sweet, beautiful and pretty are thou thee
In every shining light that thou can see
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There is Diigo here. I'll repeat my main criticism which is that your sonnet is 90% really elegant tone, diction and rhythm. The other 10% strikes me as words which introduce incongruent imagery, like 'crooks' and 'mining.'
ReplyDeleteHowever, I really feel this could be revised into a first class sonnet.