Journal # 11 "Childhood"

"As your Children's Story writing draws to a close, consider that people haven't always felt the same way about children as we do now. The idea that childhood is a special time and that a child's innocence should be protected largely originated with the Victorians. Before that, children were sent to work in factories as soon as they were old enough, often working 10 hour days at the age of 7 or 8. Chimney Sweeps used to employ even younger children since they could be dangled from a rope and used to knock soot and highly carcinogenic coal dust out of chimneys. By the time these young people reached the ripe old age of 15 or 16 they were adults for all intents and purposes.

Now, as a society, we have reached a point where we try to insulate children from the more unpleasant and laborious aspects of life but we have also delayed adulthood for many. Some "children" (perhaps you know some?) continue to live in their parents' basements until their late twenties. What do you think? How much (and from what) should children be protected? How well are we handling this issue now as a society? What kind of childhood will you try to create for your own offspring? What expectations will you have? What are some of the most valuable experiences and lessons from your own childhood that you will try to pass on to the next generation?"

As a society today, we tend to try to protect our children, the young and innocent, from the harsh realities of today’s adult world. This view is very different than it was in the past. In the past, many children were working in the brutal conditions of the adult world at the young age of 15 or 16. Children as young as five and sometimes younger were working in factories or as chimney sweeps. Today, children are opting to stay in the security of their parents home until they are in their late teens to early twenties and sometimes even later. While they are in the security of their parent’s home, some will work and some will not. Why do we protect the young and innocent so much more than we did in the past? How long should we be providing this protection?

Children, in today’s society are vulnerable, trusting and easily persuaded. With all of the cruelty in the world today, our children need to be protected and taught how to deal with the harsh realities of the world. By the time they are 15 or 16, many may believe that they are ready for the adult world, but are they really? At that young age, many teens fall into the trap of supposed love, parties and many may make inappropriate choices. It is for these reasons that, many teens, at the ages of 15 or 16, are still living at home, in the safety and security of their parents. It is here that they can make mistakes, and learn from it, in a way that is more understandable and less harsh for them. Being at home presents them with a lot of unique opportunities. They do not have to pay for rent or utilities (usually), and they eat their meals for free.

Some children may take advantage of this opportunity and use it much more then needed. Is this the fault of the parents or the fault of the children? Some parents are just unable to say no to their children and will let them have whatever they want. This includes letting them live in their house until they are 30 or so. Children may choose to live at home while in their adult life for various reasons. It could be due to financial reasons, or it could be for emotional security. I believe it is both the fault of both the child and the parent.

For my own children, I will protect them from all they need to be protected from, and let them go when I feel they are ready to be out on their own, taking care of themselves. I will ensure that everything is in place for them to have the opportunity to make the correct choices. But, at the same time, I will give them enough leeway in order to make some wrong decisions. This way here, I believe, they will be able to learn from the mistakes they have made. Raising children is about having a good balance. You give them enough space to grow on their own, while at the same time you are still there in the background, hovering over them.

From my own childhood, I have learned a lot from my mom. She has always been there for me and has allowed me to make and learn from my mistakes. She has always been supportive of the choices I make, even if she hasn’t agreed with them. I will try my best to incorporate all of this into the way I raise my own children, when the time arises.